~ April 16, 2003 - 12:27 a.m. ~
A Meandering Spring Night
Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.
What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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As if there was every any question . . .
Posed for Jack (of Jakeland) tonight. She was taking digital photos for her photography class, and she needed to do a portrait. Actually, she has to do several, but since I posed for her last month (doing Irish step dancing for the camera), she has decided I am really photogenic and wanted to use me again. She also has to do a phony product advertisement, so she is "selling" lipstick, and using me as the model. Very flattering, I must say. Her concept is me wearing something strappy and black looking blissful while wearing the lipstick. BUT (and this is the really clever bit), I will also have a kiss mark of the SAME lipstick on my cheek. At first, the viewer is like, "Oh, she's got lipstick on, and it's also on her face. But wait, she couldn't kiss her own cheek . . . " Which is when they realize that I've been kissed by another girl. Ahhhh. Very sneaky. Working in that risque lesbian angle, thus inciting MEN to purchase the lipstick for wives and girlfriends. Terribly clever, I thought.
But the digital camera kept fucking up, and so we never got to that part of hte shoot. Instead, Jack took portrait shots of me (in my green Eleanor of Aquitaine dress) and pAndi (looking like a self-described ragamuffin). Jack and her better half then took us out to dinner at this spiffy organic vegitarian restuarant in the East Village, which was super nice of her because the shoot to several hours longer than originally planned, I have posed for her before - compensationless, and because we didn't finish I will be posing again next week. All in all, not a bad deal. Jack gets a very patient model and I get free dinner. Everyone's happy. Well, except for Jack, who ate some vegan pate that had nuts in it (which she is allergic to). She had to go home half-way through the meal, and Jakeland picked up the tab on her behalf. It was sweet of him to honor her deal with me (esp. because I am broke and couldn't really afford my $10 meal), but it felt weird because it was Jakeland and I didn't do crap for him today. I feel terrible for Jack, though. She puked in the restuarant bathroom before getting a cab home. I wanted to make her broth or something, she couldn't even finish her meal.
pAndi and I chilled out around 3rd Ave. afterwards. We got bubble tea from Saint's Alp, and went to M to M for Japanese sweets. I was really enjoying just walking around in the warm air. It was great; there's a huge, bright moon out, and the sky is so clear you can see the stars (a rare thing in the city). It was nice not to need gloves, or to be shivering. It was nice to be "filled with clean wind for one lean minute" as Ani would say. I really love spring. I used to be an "extreme" season person: big fan of winter and summer. But that was when I was in New England where winter is snow-filled and not crappy-brown-slush-filled, and summer is the only time you can get in the pool and not be shivering. But Manhattan is an in-between place, as I think all islands must be. The currents that swirl in the waters off Manhattan make the summer heat unbearable, the winter wind too cold. The in-betweenness of Spring and Autumn are the only times when one is free of extreme elements. It's an odd, buoying sensation, and I feel like I'm right on the verge of something new, my next adventure. This, I suppose, is residual of grade school where such things were true. Spring was the threshold of Summer vacation, and Autumn was the begining of a clean-slate academic year. I am losing these boundries. After spending more than 3/4 of my life in school, I am leaving, probably for years. My whole life right now seems like an in-bewteen time, like space waiting to be filled. I am on the verge of being an adult, an Adult with capital letters, and I'm a little bit scared. If this was Winter or Summer, I don't think I'd have the strength to cut the familiar ties of academia, but Spring will buoy me through the lean months of unemployment and directionlessness that are about to come. With Spring, pregnant with promise, this Spring, I will be free for one lean minute of school and of work, before I'm trapped again.
