Weird dream last night. I dreamt Elwen came to New York and I was showing her around. That, of course, it not the weird part, except for the fact that I have never met Elwen and don't really know what she looks like. We were hanging out, saw Central park and the Empire State Buidling, and then we went to Macy's at Herald Square. This still isn't weird because this is THE first and most famous Macy's in the world, and the subject of "Miracle on 34th Street" and besideswhich, it's a really neat store. So we are walking around in Macy's, shopping, having a good time, when suddenly all these cops burst in to Macy's Cellar (always great sales there) and tackle me! (This is where the weirdness starts.) So the cops are practically in a pig pile on top of me, and the next thing I know, I'm being arrested and Elwen is being hauled off by social services. The cops are saying something to the extent that Elwen left her home without telling her parents where she was going, so they thought she was kidnapped, and now I am being arrested for kidnapping, reckless endangerment of a minor, and child abuse. Child abuse? I took her to MACY'S for heaven's sake! Sure, they can be a little pricey, but that hardly constitutes abuse. Reckless endangerment? I didn't take her to a bar or nightclub (do I even KNOW of any nightclubs?), we went SHOPPING! So Elwen is screaming 'It's not her fault!" and I am screaming "Unhand me you freaks!" and Elwen gets wrapped in a big wool blanket as though she's been rescued from a fire or from drowning instead of a shopping excursion. And I get hauled off to jail.
So I'm at the police station, the same one I went to three years ago to get a restraining order against The Beast, and all the cops keep telling me how much trouble I'm in. And i'm supremely confused, because I'm not sure how I got myself into this mess. So they fingerprint me, and they take my mug shot, and they're about to put me in the cell when someone from social services runs in and stops them. Which is a HUGE relief to me, because the cell has the random hookers and druggies that you see in movies, and I have this cute little khaki skirt and a camisole on, and do NOT want to brush up against anything in the cell. So the social services people tell me that Elwen was returned to her parents, who dropped the charges, but that they filed a restraining order against me that prohibits me from ever coming into contact with Elwen again until she is 18. So they release me from police custody and the next thing I know, I'm back out on the street.
Tim picks me up in front of the police station and we get in a cab and go home, only to find someone moving into our apartment. Tim reminds me that we decided to take in a boarder for a few months (WTF? how 19th century . . . ) to help out with the rent. Now, I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before, but our apartment is small. We live in a studio. It has a kitchen, a bathroom, and a loft for sleeping. There is no seperate room that we are letting out, we are just taking on this weird woman named Anne. She is in her late twenties, early thirties, and she is living with us until she finds a job or the three months is up, whichever comes first. She doesn't have a lot of stuff, so it's not so bad at first, but then she's standing right there while I'm explaining to Tim that I have to go back to the precinct later in the week to make sure that the child abuse charges are erased from my brand-new criminal record, and Anne starts to wig a little. So I explain about Elwen, and how it was all just a big misunderstanding, and everything appears to be OK until bedtime. When Anne climbs up to the loft and steals our bed. So we don't know what to do. We thought she was gonna sleep on the futon, but there she is, in our bed, and she's not budging. So while Tim and I decide to sleep on the futon, she tells us she doesn't mind sharing the bed with both of us, which is creepy, because we don't even know this woman, and we both refuse, and finally I get up the nerve to tell her that she can't have the bed, it's ours. She threatens to leave, which would be fine with us, except we need the money she'll be paying for rent, so we make a deal. She can have the bed every other week. After all, it's just for a few months right? So Tim and I go to sleep on the futon, and I am fuming and thinking what a shitty day this has been, and how I really don't like this Anne person, and why couldn't we find the money some other way. Tim promises me that as soon as we don't need her, we can evict her, which mollifies me a little, and I finally fall asleep thinking about how if I had taken Elwen to Bloomingdales, none of this shit would have happened.
