~ July 25, 2003 - 10:55 p.m. ~
Foolproof
Derrick was back at the pool today, but he was joining water aerobics just as we were quitting for the day, but his Mommy said he could come back tomorrow for class if he was good. We'll see.I finally saw "Finding Nemo" with pAndi last night. We were laughing so hard and so loudly that I feared we'd be lynched when we left the theatre. Dori was my favorite character, and Ellen Degeneres does a bang-up job. She was amazing. "Oh he's mine and I shall call him "Squish"" with the baby jelly-fish? Classic. Although I think my favorite line is after Gill is done detailing his cockamamy escape plan he deadpans, "It's fool-proof." I nearly got frappaccino up my nose, I laughed so hard. Gotta love that William Defoe.
It was an evening meant for laughing. pAndi and I harassed Neverly in at her place of work (the Egyptian Tea Room) and made fun of the stupid books they sell there. Like "The Meaning of Life," "Can We Start Again?" "How to Please Your Husband (Written by Husbands Who Know)," and other such cringe-worthy titles. As Neverly put it, these are not books one reads. These are books one gives to others to show them what one thinks of them. So true. The one gem was this book of mangled English, which reminded us of Engrish.com (If you've never been before, GO NOW!). My favorite sign came from a Tokyo hotel room and read "Please to be not engaging in the illegal removal of towels from this room. If you are not a person who do be doing these things, do not be reading this sign."
pAndi and I also spent most of our time in the car howling as we rehashed Eddie Izzard sketches to one another. Like why you needed James Earl Jones to be Darth Vader in "Star Wars." With some other guy, it just sounds like:
Vader: Luke, Luke! The Force, it's . . . er . . . it's very strong with you?
Luke: Is it?
Vader: Er, yeah.
Luke: Well, how'd you know?
Varder: Um, some bloke told me. Quite strong it is.
Luke: Oh yeah? Well, how strong?
Vader: um, as strong as a small pony.
Luke: Oh, that's quite strong, that is!
Not to mention Sean Connery as Henry VIII.
Sean/Henry: Then I will set up a new religion in this country. And I shall call it the "Psychotic Bastard Religion."
*and an advisor's going*
Advisor: How about "Church of England," my lord?
Sean/Henry: Church of England! Even though I am Scottish myself.
Even Steve, one of the water aerobics instructors, is keen on Eddie Izzard. Today as Derrick swam between his legs and splashed him, he joked, "I love children. They taste of chicken." At which point I squealed "Eddie Izzard!" and got a wink from Steve for my troubles.
Whooo. Good times, good times. If anyone doesn't know what the hell I am talking about, please run out to your nearest movie-rental location and get "Eddie Izzard - Dress to Kill" and if you don't practically wet yourself with laughter, there's something wrong with you. Apparently, he has another DVD out called "Glorious" but I can't find that yet. It supposedly features him doing impressions of James Mason as God and Sean Connery as Noah discussing ark building.
